tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34804352083302614602024-03-13T10:40:34.779-04:00Strange FruitYasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.comBlogger206125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-896496414589041732012-11-21T19:18:00.001-05:002012-11-21T19:18:56.177-05:00I've relocated to wordpressIf anyone still checks this blog for new posts, needless to say I have given up on it lol..<div>
I've relocated to: <a href="http://yaz-be.wordpress.com/">yaz-be.wordpress.com</a></div>
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.... trust me it's for the better. </div>
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But for anyone who still every now and then would find themselves on this site and wonder where I am or any remotely warm genuine thoughts/concern about my whereabouts. Know that it was appreciated. I was obviously on some hard-core hiatus. Life happened. Then I said screw it, I loved this shit, it made me happy... grind it out. write till you drop baby yeaaaahh!!! or at least find cool shit online that make you happy and share it with the interweb *insert awkward guido fist-pum*... </div>
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yeyeah! </div>
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anyway, thank you if you still get these notifications.</div>
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Thank you to all my anonymous followers, random visitors, friends and mostly all randoms lol.. </div>
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I'm back..</div>
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With love,</div>
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yazbe</div>
Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-40911671511910671452012-05-18T01:02:00.002-04:002012-05-18T01:02:32.515-04:00if you must know<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well if you must know,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A good day for me
starts with warm sheets... sunlight and soft music at waking<br />
Enough peace of mind to reflect on my self, God.. and what the day will bring by the folding of my
knees in a stretched prayer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
...</div>
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It is followed by good
food...marinated in silence or in conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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If you must know...<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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A good day includes
hearing stories from welcoming strangers and familiar faces... or from pages of
books written by the gifted.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It also includes creativity in one form or another.</div>
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...</div>
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It involves wander in
the form of walking or bike rides<o:p></o:p></div>
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It involves enough
warmth to make my melanin glisten and enough breeze to cool a possible sweat
from my brow, and a dance from my crown.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Throughout it all
there is a mixture of (jazz, soul, acoustics, hip hop... kissing my earbuds)...music in mp3 format or just background noise.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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A good day <b>MUST</b>
include laughter. ... and that’s non-negotiable.<o:p></o:p></div>
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(...lol)</div>
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It must include peace
and it must include warm company.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(<i>how does it end?)</i><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4395kColP1ql03l6o1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="148" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4395kColP1ql03l6o1_400.gif" width="200" /></a>A good day ends with a
snuggie. ...lol or something like it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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....</div>
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It involves laughter
maybe from watching old-reruns of favourite shows ...<s> or streaming community,
30rock, The New Girl, How I met your mother, Vampire Diaries, Grey’s Anatomy,
America’s Next Top Model...don't judge me lol... </s></div>
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....it involves, laughing or crying upon hearing the story
relating or not relating to the characters... but following the story... and
understanding it. ... However deep.. however shallow.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I guess in truth it
ends how it started. In reflection.. In warmth... in silence or in
conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Some days I wish it
would end with a forehead kiss from him. Some days I don’t think about it... other
days, my body chooses to close my eyes instead of my thoughts.., or
vice-versa... and so <strike>somehow</strike> I ... sleep.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some days are better
than others.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-29568369971505607542012-05-16T23:42:00.007-04:002012-05-16T23:42:50.110-04:00sundays.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-47849214051890823642012-05-10T00:35:00.001-04:002012-05-10T00:35:53.720-04:00Willow trees, Harbourfront, bluest skyed sundays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last sunday I spent some time to myself. It was a sunny day that started with a prayer or two.. some silence... some tears... some writing and LOTS of walking. It was needed. I decided to take my dslr along for my stroll..<br />
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There's always something about sitting by a large body of water... howerver calm.. however busy.. howerver quiet. There's something about it that brings me peace. It makes me feel reflective. It centers me. ... I hope one day when I get old, I am privileged enough to have a home by a body of water... or at least find a way to bottle the effects of what it does to my spirit and carry that with me all days through my old age. ... lol. I think about this often.<br />
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Willow ... weep for me. </div>
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Willow trees make me think of old age. lol. old memories.. and Pocahontas <strike>(real talk lol)</strike>. I think it's because of how it hangs. ...like sagging limbs.. sagging skin..in a hunchback-like stance. it reminds me of old mothers.. </div>
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it reminds me of wisdom acquired in due time. .... <strike>(strange)</strike></div>
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Sometimes I forget that Toronto actually has an airport downtown. ...<br />
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My favourite thing about the picture above and the one below is the reflection of the surroundings from the monument. ... I'm not sure why. I find it so interesting ... and beautiful! lol.<br />
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Old jeans.<br />
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I can't remember the last time I rollerbladed. lol..<br />
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yes. you are seeing a mini sand area. You can pretend to be on a beach. lol... and "tan" if you're into that.<br />
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I often think that people that live in the city are not aware or fully taking in, what's available in their city. I mean I can say a little bit of the same about Calgary (until I moved away, I didn't really appreciate it as much as I think I should've) . This city (Toronto) is spoiled when it comes to scenery like this being accessible downtown.. in terms of having "arts & culture" hubs throughout it <strike>(although, they are very much under a lot of thread due to crumbling funding structures of the non-profit sector)</strike> ... it is spoiled. .. It is ugly .. it's beautiful .. not sure if I'm over it. lol.. maybe I am.. maybe not. I'm still thankful I'm here though.<br />
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One day I'll find home. I don't think it's here ... yet.Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-24082439931965403172012-05-05T17:06:00.000-04:002012-05-10T00:36:35.488-04:00.. (Oh!) ...the Joys of Underemployment<br />
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Everyone once in a while... a mean track finds me. It plays rough with my earbuds and my spidey sense start tingling... and I get happy in my head bop. YES. ladies and gentlemen ... This. THIS! one is one of those.<br />
It's a mean one guys.<br />
Warning... if you listen to this with good headphones and good base.. you might just vomit. (YES! that's how dope this is. lol) .....<br />
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... Everything's been feeling a little off. I've been overwhelmingly busy for the past little bit.. (surprise surprise). Applying places, getting accepted to a school in Europe and then realizing that the financial cost of going may not be worth it. ... hustling.. grinding.. learning about film, videos and loving it... getting sad about it.. and somehow trusting. .. up until today, I haven't had real time to exhale, sleep in.. until now.<br />
I think I'm going to go for a walk.. then to a film today... we'll see...<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">... Oh the joys of <strike>under</strike>employment! ... </span></div>
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I recently read an article on Clutch Mag about INFJ personality types called <a href="http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2012/05/the-angry-black-introvert/">"The Angry Black Introvert"</a> ... Thought it was interesting. I found myself relating A lot if not ENTIRELY to the feelings expressed in the article. Towards the end of the article, there was a quote that rang especially true:<br />
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"<span style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 23px; text-align: left;"> </span><i style="font-family: georgia; line-height: 23px; text-align: left;">So not only should others “watch out” for us; we should be wary of ourselves. If you’re like me, biting your tongue–sometimes for years–so that you feel liked, feel loved, or are seen as easygoing and amiable rather bitter and resentful, start taking small steps toward voicing your discontent with a situation in the moment you experiencing it. Start being upfront with your family and friends about how their comment or action made you feel. Start resolving, rather than resenting.</i><span style="font-family: georgia;"><span style="line-height: 23px;"><i>It will not be easy. And it won't happen overnight. In fact you may spend the rest of your life, working against your personality type to make significant progress. But it's necessary work, and through it, you'll find yourself feeling a more genuine serenity than the kind you've been pretending to have"</i></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">I've been biting my tongue and holding some of my feelings in (in trying to understand them).. but I'm a private person and I only share things with a selected few people. On occasion I've been known to write it out in blog form, poetry and or even journal-type of entries on notebooks and excessive sticky-notes on the walls of my room. But I haven't done any of that since my last post. </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">So maybe this blog post is feelings, frustrations bubbling over. ... maybe not. ...either way. I need to approach this in a more balance way for the sake of my mental and physical health. I've also been feeling home sick. I miss my mom... and I've been wanting to be there for my brother's graduation. But I can't afford the flight to go nor can I really afford to take the unpaid leave of absence from work to do so. Student loan interests are accumulating out of my neglect to resolve an agreement with them sooner.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">I am angry not at anyone in particular. ...but angry at the system. </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">I just want to be happy in the company of good spirited and warmhearted people... laugh. Speak of joys and hurt and heal... speak of stories that matter and listen to dope music and good food. (maybe salmon lol).</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">... dammit.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">ok. I'm leaving my home now.<br />my spirit is due for some quiet wandering.<br />A prayer is due... to thank God for this though. To thank him for the struggle. To thank him for what is to come... because he knows how <strike>this...</strike> <strike>my...</strike> <i>our</i> story ends. I'm a character among several in this narrative. I have to trust this.</span></div>
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<br />Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-65997417953197288022012-04-17T19:27:00.001-04:002012-04-17T19:27:32.466-04:00My Valentine<div style="text-align: center;">
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="460" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/f4dzzv81X9w" width="740"></iframe></div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-51899988384142730632012-04-15T17:36:00.000-04:002012-04-17T19:28:14.183-04:00Writing it out.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">they told me that writing it out can be healing,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">but words don't
know this dance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">they only know the
dance between fingertips and keys. ... backspaces in too many spacebars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">they don't know
this dance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">They don't know
the dance between infatuation and love and perplexity that comes with breathing
life in exhaling who we are, and inhaling peace of mind with someone in sync.
They don't know how to hold hands and kiss sweetly in places, cheeks and
foreheads without speaking. They don't know how to create butterflies inside
heart ventricles and blood streams and convert them into timid smiles and
akward laughters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">They only know how
to hold fingertips and keys and let go and move on to the next one. ..for another
key stoke. They only know how to move in repetitive monotonous motion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">they don't have
the attention span that feelings do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Writing is not
feeling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">It is writing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">writing is only
feeling in memory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">...memory is
feeling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">writing is not
healing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">maybe writing is
memory's distant cousin in how they interact in proximity of feelings... but
fall apart when feelings are gone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">if words knew the
dance and cadences felt in the act of falling in love, then maybe they would
hold their own weight in the memories I have of them in conversations I recall
of him and I<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">but in writing
this, ... the heaviness I feel is lopsided and it buldges at the sides.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">It's awkward.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">it is as ugly as
it is beautiful<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">it is as salty as
it is bitter<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">... and maybe as
it should.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">after all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">writing is not
healing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">writing is writing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">..it is not
feeling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-37408186934450825192012-04-03T23:46:00.000-04:002012-04-03T23:46:46.844-04:00newsboy caps and stretched afros<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /><br />I look suspicious.. lol.. for no reason. Disclaimer, I look like I'm smiling but at the time of this picture I was struggling semi-heavily with a wisdom tooth infection lol.. half my mouth is swollen. </div>
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I haven't posted an updated pic of my hair, and its many stories, thought I'd share a pic or two.. that spoke short stories and such. I tend to play a lot with the front of my hair the most. I like updos for work, and when it rains or it's cold out.</div>
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Bouffon in the front ...</div>
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away from my face ...</div>
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pinned in the front, in random ways ... or not..<br />
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...Massive braid in the front... (which apparently according to a friend is my signature 'look')</div>
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or a quiet favorite... a newsboy cap! :)</div>
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(I would've smiled in this pic, but then... the mouth problems lol)... I haven't seen a lot of women rock the newsboy cap in a LONG time. ... I have a big head. big hair or not.. finding a hat has always been issue for me lol. When I was a teenager, when Pharell's frontin' video came out... </div>
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I went on a hardcore hunt for a 'trucker hat'. I couldn't find a single store in Calgary that had a trucker hat that fit me. Until I went to leChateau. I discovered that that store was the only store that had hats that fit me lol,... and found an orange trucker hat! ... why was I so hardcore on finding a trucker hat?...why you ask? ... well aside from the fact that Pharell is ridiculously goodlooking & awesome <strike>(i think my schoolgirl crush started when I saw this video)</strike>, at 13ish I wanted to be the girl in the video lol. ...plain and simple. So I bought it. AND Rocked the hell out of it. (..I think lol).</div>
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... I've come a long way, from wanting to be like the girl on tv. lol. thankfully. I blame my upbringing and nerdy introverted ways. *high five*.</div>
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But hands up if you support newsboy cap hats making a comeback</div>
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*hands up in the aayyuurr*</div>
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:)</div>
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<br /></div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-66611836195230020542012-03-31T02:45:00.003-04:002012-03-31T11:08:48.023-04:00Sunshine<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="400" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/38759453?js_api=1&js_onLoad=loadcheck" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="600"></iframe></div>
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Ran into this video via my friend <a href="http://hoso2g.tumblr.com/">Amy</a>. Found it interesting. </div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-65844779934194567402012-03-28T17:52:00.001-04:002012-03-28T17:52:28.185-04:00Be Good<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="325" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/37558647?portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="600"></iframe></div>
<a href="http://vimeo.com/37558647">Gregory Porter - Be Good (Lion's Song) Official Video</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/pierrebennu">pierre bennu</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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There's a lot about this video, and this song that I can relate to. The lyrics... the visuals. Nice gem that I found on the interweb by Gregory Porter, while I'm curing this wisdom teeth infection/light fever. ... In other news I bought a gigantic sketch book today. Art needs to come out of me soon. ... pictures will be shared on this. soon. </div>
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in due time. </div>
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...In due time.</div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-16775731822106325422012-03-28T05:42:00.001-04:002012-03-28T05:42:11.445-04:00music makes the world go round.There is something about music that is healing to me. It brings something to me.. a random dance move, a memory, kind words, angry words... words unspoken but felt, thought of and never uttered by me. ... it brings me a certain peace of mind. It keeps me a little sane. For that I am forever thankful. In the buldge of chaos I've been navigating in this transitional period in my life, a friend of mine posted a simple podcast that (after a semi-emotional day) brought me this peace.<br />
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<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="93" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://theboulevard.podomatic.com/embed/frame/posting/2012-03-26T19_42_28-07_00?json_url=http%3A%2F%2Ftheboulevard.podomatic.com%2Fentry%2Fembed_params%2F2012-03-26T19_42_28-07_00%3FautoPlay%3Dfalse%26facebook%3Dtrue%26height%3D93%26minicast%3Dfalse%26objembed%3D0%26width%3D393" width="393"></iframe></div>
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... I slept at 1 am and woke up at 4, tossing & turning from toothache (an infection I feel I may have) and traces and bits of heartache. I still think of him. I still miss him. .... thinking about me needing surgery for my mouth soon... not sure how I'm going to afford it. Trusting that God will come through (lol). </div>
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It feels odd to be up at this time, where most people are asleep. ..Some awake and alive in another timezone.. others are grinding heavy at work or are getting ready to do so.</div>
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I am not dealing with this in a healthy way. I want to really bad, but it doesn't seem to be working. First it's my appetite, Now my sleep. ... This is not good for my spirit. I do not and refuse to resort to sleeping drugs. I'm trying tea. ... worse comes to worse I might try nyquil or benadryl (for my allergies). Pretty sure that half of my bottom left jaw is swollen right now. ... uugh.</div>
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ok. after I finish playing this mixtape, I'm sleeping... (I hope).</div>
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okbye.</div>
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</div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-5771890176685957382012-03-26T13:15:00.000-04:002012-03-26T13:15:50.644-04:00I will be loud & unapologetic about my purpose (x3)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-q5RKheUs0gU/T3CQLjouLiI/AAAAAAAAAVM/KGiABpGJMHg/s1600/IMG_0586.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-q5RKheUs0gU/T3CQLjouLiI/AAAAAAAAAVM/KGiABpGJMHg/s640/IMG_0586.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
I've been silent for a while. I've been on a writing hiatus in a while. Life is teaching me things. I've been learning a lot about people around me. I've been learning about myself a lot.. my imperfections ... most importantly I've been learning about my voice.<br />
<br />
not just hearing it, but listening to it.<br />
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I have a sticky-note on the wall behind my laptop that says:<br /><br />
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"<i>I will be loud in my purpose</i></div>
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<i>I will be loud in my purpose</i></div>
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<i>I will be loud in my purpose</i></div>
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<i>I will be loud in my purpose (...even if I don't quite know what it is yet)"</i></div>
<i><br /></i><br />
I wrote that March 18th, 2012.<br />
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If it's anything at all, I've been struggling with sharing myself with not only social media but people in general. I have a bad habit of always wanting to accommodate and please people around me sometimes even if it means I won't be happy. ... That may not necessarily seem like a bad habit, but it makes it the perfect pre-amble to being emotionally unhealthy. In caring so much about other people's happiness, a lot of emotion is invested... and when the logic of being that way is not reciprocated by the other person, there's a high level of sadness, exhaustion & frustration that happens on the other end. I'm realizing that more and more.. and I'm realizing that I need to be loud within myself and assert myself forward in my wants and needs out of life. Insodoing, maybe I'll be able to be more assertive out loud when I speak to others about myself and what I do.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9l7_0nrnKNQ/T3CQAZ6rBXI/AAAAAAAAAVE/nxb3aAs0Asw/s1600/IMG_0587.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="608" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9l7_0nrnKNQ/T3CQAZ6rBXI/AAAAAAAAAVE/nxb3aAs0Asw/s640/IMG_0587.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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There's something about speaking about myself in a "for sure" way that's always bothered me. Hence why I've always tended to be very vague about myself on this blogosphere. Nothing is certain... nothing is "for sure". ... so my logic has always been, I am not God. I cannot guarantee that in these wants I want and crave out of life will bring me happiness. Nor can I even sometimes even define what it is that I do. ... but I've realized the weight of words in the framing an idea or thought, will always propel a direction. ... and there's nothing wrong with an evolving definition. It's ok to embrace change.<br />
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It's ok to embrace pain... It's ok if the pain is gut-wrenching.. confusing.. It's ok to feel it all. Feel. Inhale it all ... and exist within this hurt. Exhale all that you are, and that you stand by... and just be.<br />
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To assert myself in my purpose in words and definitions (however frail my certainty of that definition may be). To know and trust and say out loud that you're good at something doesn't mean you're cocky.. lol. It can also mean you're aware of your voice. your listening to your gift and speaking of your blessing outloud in sharing that: THIS. is what you do.<br />
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and that's actually ok. ... (..lol..)<br />
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<i>I will be loud in my purpose... I will be loud in my purpose... I will be loud in my purpose <br />& be unapologetic about my light. ... I will shine God's light in loving .. simply & honestly.</i></div>
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(ps. hair above is a loose bantu-knot out. on stretched hair... Wooot! the longest my hair's ever been! #boombap)<br />
<br />Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-14786675194588272362012-03-21T00:00:00.003-04:002012-03-21T00:00:54.405-04:00is this still on..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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mic check. ... is this still on.. oh. ok .. lol.<br />
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umm...........<br />
I need to write.<br />
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I need to let my fingertips speak in signs coded in key strokes and space bars.. what my mind has been fighting. What my mind has been too timid to verbalize. ...<br />
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I need to write to let you know.. I still have a pulse.<br />
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life has been a little more than interesting for the past little bit.<br />
....<br />
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this is not a half-assed post.. but it is. lol. .. I have to finish this job application before I snooze. but.. I just wanted to say this.<br />
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I need to share things.<br />
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I want to keep sharing things on here. ... well maybe not here per say... but share things in words.. on the interweb. lol.<br />
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...that's all for now.<br />
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thank you for reading. (lol)Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-7952510881846105742012-02-26T04:31:00.000-05:002012-02-26T04:31:12.529-05:00Time has been good to me... (so far)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G68jiaKIQ8g/T0n3doWrJsI/AAAAAAAAAUc/jNnAMT5BF6w/s1600/IMG_0183.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-G68jiaKIQ8g/T0n3doWrJsI/AAAAAAAAAUc/jNnAMT5BF6w/s640/IMG_0183.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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Time. ... It's been a while since I've fully shared a solid piece up on this joint. lol.. so since I've now welcomed a beautiful T3i into my life, thought I'd share a few pictures of what I've been up to... so mostly just food. Family. I'd try to be deep and say something abstract like the clock signifies the monotony of my 9to5... <strike>(half made that up just now lol) </strike> and the rest is family and food. 2 of my greatest loves. lol<br />
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<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="http://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F34319398&show_artwork=true" width="100%"></iframe>
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Time has been good to me............ </div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-42994191303225225992012-02-25T23:31:00.000-05:002012-02-25T23:31:10.957-05:00tonight.<br />
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Tonight </div>
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We are young.</div>
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So let's set the world on fire..</div>
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We can burn brighter than the sun..</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="460" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/FQLGhPHzxjc" width="740"></iframe></div>
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<br /></div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-40643414801430354922012-02-20T18:24:00.000-05:002012-02-20T18:24:00.356-05:00Slakah The Beatchild<div style="text-align: center;">
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Slakah, Tinsek, Ebrahim ... I'm a fan of all three. I want to see all three of them on stage live. </div>
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Dope vibes. </div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-53142038452207587202012-02-05T21:56:00.002-05:002012-02-05T22:06:10.182-05:00Here Comes the NeighborhoodRan into this story of the revitalization of a lower-income industrial part of Wynwood, in Miami Florida done all using street art. I thought it was beautiful and interesting. I want to visit this city at one point in my lifetime. ... Enjoyed watching it.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/32424117" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="700"></iframe></div>
<a href="http://vimeo.com/32424117">HCTN EPISODE 1 : INTRODUCING THE WALLS</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/herecomestheneighborhood">Here Comes the Neighborhood</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/32567252" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="700"></iframe></div>
<a href="http://vimeo.com/32567252">HCTN EPISODE 2 : GAIA</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/herecomestheneighborhood">Here Comes the Neighborhood</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/32556207?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="700"></iframe></div>
<a href="http://vimeo.com/32556207">HCTN EPISODE 3 : KENNY SCHARF</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/herecomestheneighborhood">Here Comes the Neighborhood</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/32771944?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="700"></iframe></div>
<a href="http://vimeo.com/32771944">HCTN EPISODE 4 : INTERCAMBIO</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/herecomestheneighborhood">Here Comes the Neighborhood</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/32690243?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="700"></iframe></div>
<a href="http://vimeo.com/32690243">HCTN EPISODE 5 : SEGO & SANER</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/herecomestheneighborhood">Here Comes the Neighborhood</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/33137486?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="700"></iframe></div>
<a href="http://vimeo.com/33137486">HCTN EPISODE 6 : IRAK</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/herecomestheneighborhood">Here Comes the Neighborhood</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="425" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/33129339?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="700"></iframe></div>
<a href="http://vimeo.com/33129339">HCTN EPISODE 7 : MARTHA COOPER</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/herecomestheneighborhood">Here Comes the Neighborhood</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<br /></div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-50383253453199588142012-02-05T16:48:00.001-05:002012-02-05T16:48:39.679-05:00blogspot blues.ahem ahem ... I would like to interrupt this broken promise of posting more regularly for the following words:<br />
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I'm no longer feeling the blogspot format. I'm moving away from it... switching over to tumblr lol.. or something that'll make my layout more appealing. ... so in the meantime .. I'll just maybe post videos with little to no commentaries because. .. I can lol. simple. ... check out my tumblr that I'm the middle of possibly revamping to make room to share more of my writing. <a href="http://lebeat-lacreole.tumblr.com/">http://lebeat-lacreole.tumblr.com/</a><br />
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so here's one to make your sundays smile.<br />
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In other news Japanese Nu-Jazz is where my earbuds are at, if you're wondering. :) </div>
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<br /></div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-21889312935688010092012-01-26T20:00:00.000-05:002012-02-05T16:42:01.375-05:00Someone tell me how..<br />
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Soooooo...<br />
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I've been typing words and backspacing. <br />
<br />
Pacing back and forth in fingertips of my typography and also in thought. I'm unsure what to write about. I want to ask if someone could tell me how we're suppose to fight for our dreams. ... Where is the will to fight for aspirations that deposit themselves on our hearts, when our means is depleting from either working a 9-5 which for some <strike>(like myself)</strike> only deposits enough into our bank accounts to pay for, our barely modest livelihoods... or we're trying to steer ourselves forward in a mass of grey haze that resembles our purpose in that... it somehow just feels right even if you can't see anything.<br />
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<br />
....<br />
<br />
<br />
(meanwhile, somewhere... )<br />
Our heart is vaccant while our brain is frying in the repetition of static and sometimes teadious BS routinery<br />
<br />
<br />
... Also somehow in the left corner of my thoughts I've also been thinking about Love.. and the art of loving. I don't necessarily mean it in terms of loving another human being but rather the love of exercising our selves wholly. ... exercising our purpose. Whatever it may be.<br />
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I'm struggling right now. I feel stuck.<br />
Transitioning periods are part of life, so everyone keeps telling me. ... but it doesn't make it any easier.<br />
<br />
Thinking over it...<br />
<object height="81" width="100%"> <param name="movie" value="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F34396110">
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<embed allowscriptaccess="always" height="81" src="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F34396110" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="100%"></embed> </object> <a href="http://soundcloud.com/okayplayer/bilal-think-it-over-acoustic">Bilal-Think It Over (acoustic)</a> by <a href="http://soundcloud.com/okayplayer">okayplayer</a><br />
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....<br />
And so every night I sleep late. ...wake up tired. Go to work. ...get home cook, do stuff (if I have the energy).. talk. and repeat. ...<br />
<br />
Surely this has to be temporary.<br />
<br />Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-75395107010552911052012-01-22T20:01:00.001-05:002012-01-22T20:01:38.672-05:00Time & God and their inside jokes...I think Time and God share inside jokes that go past me. ...beyond me.. Often leaving me confused with a faded smile on my face. Elapsing in thunderous roars. ...respectively ...as if they were speaking in tongues.<br />
<br />
I'm alive and well. For the past little bit I've been taking in life. ...Taking in the confusion. Taking in this transitioning period and accepting it (still learning to embrace it wholly). I am thankful. 2011 was GREAT to me, and I was so GOOD to 2011 (lol). I worked hard, I cried hard, I failed hard. and most importantly felt myself growing.. and every blessing tingle every fiber of my being throughout it all.<br />
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I have several goals.. some of which I slowly started to actualize, others I've been slacking on already.. and we're only 12 days into the year folks (shame). I blame the fact that I haven't written them down yet. I've been just talking about them. lol. But I will say this... *ahem ahem*<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">I hereby commit myself to a <b>minimum of 1 blog post per week</b>. Which will involve my writing in more detail than a brief 2 line commentary on a visual that accompanies the post aforementioned. ... From today forward. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;">- signed: Yas</span></i><br />
<strike>(first time I use the word "aforementioned" I hope I used it properly lol)</strike><br />
If ever you see me slippin' tweet (...) at me (@YazzyTaughtMe) on twitter so I can get on it. ('tisnowwritten)<br />
<br />
<object height="81" width="100%"><param name="movie" value="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F26137098&">
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<embed allowscriptaccess="always" height="81" src="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F26137098&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="100%"></embed></object><a href="http://soundcloud.com/djay-10/flying-lotus-fall-in-love">Flying Lotus - Fall in love</a> by <a href="http://soundcloud.com/djay-10">-djay-</a><br />
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<br />Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-36468760459742807372011-12-03T02:33:00.001-05:002011-12-12T14:50:06.685-05:00`sweet dreams`<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-35067422128391650752011-11-28T22:27:00.001-05:002011-11-28T23:47:51.432-05:00We must not forget about our mothers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>We must not forget that our mothers were once young women</i></div>
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<i>That they had lovers before our father</i></div>
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<i>That they too once longed to belong</i></div>
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<i>longed to feel at peace when alone </i></div>
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<i>at home ..(s).</i></div>
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<i>and with other(s)</i></div>
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<i>...</i></div>
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<i>We must not forget</i></div>
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<i>That they too were lost like we are now...</i></div>
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<i><strike>(...at some point)</strike></i></div>
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This thought came to me yesterday after spending my Sunday evening with my friend's family. In the company of good conversation marinated in Trinidadian and St-Lucian accents. ...Yesterday I felt homesick. Reminded me that I might possibly spend my first Christmas without the fam this year.<br />
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We cannot forget that our parents were and maybe still live a life of uncertainty. ... In this quest of finding answers and clarity to my path..(lol) ... I also spent my yesterday taking a personality test. This test showed that I was a <a href="https://www.personalitymax.com/personality-types/infj-confidant">"INFJ type"</a> ... (<strike>there's this link</strike> <a href="http://typelogic.com/infj.html">too</a>) ... then I proceeded to google which careers would fit me. Only to find out that with my "personality type" I cannot be boxed into a certain career path... ...(still trying to figure out what this means).<br />
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(currently vibing out to Eric Lau's instrumentals while I'm looking for jobs... I've noticed his name on a couple of blogs, but have yet to really listen to anything yet until tonight.. so far :) .. so good)</div>
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<br />Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-51424315343582884562011-11-25T18:10:00.001-05:002011-11-25T18:14:59.387-05:00The Pursuit of (Cool): Coltrane Curtis<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://vimeo.com/29255931">The Pursuit Of (Cool): COLTRANE CURTIS</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/ricreative">R+I creative</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-42996103207500129682011-11-24T21:16:00.001-05:002011-11-25T18:59:39.785-05:00Being Grounded<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Life is interesting... </div>
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I'm moving/looking for a job/looking for specific purpose/looking for myself/ looking for a right path/ looking to be less hard on myself/ looking to not be on my laptop and copped up inside/ looking to exercise more/ looking to pray more/ looking to cook more/ looking for more money. lol.. / looking to laugh more..</div>
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....</div>
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".. Ultimately I intend to be more present and aware through them (spiritual practices), ... to be more compassionate and see the world through a more compassionate lense as opposed to my own pride, my own fear " - SK</div>
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"...Being oriented in such a disorienting and distracted world.." - SK</div>
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<br />Today hearing his story makes me feel sane. </div>
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thankful</div>
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<br /></div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3480435208330261460.post-1192542933733363162011-11-23T03:04:00.000-05:002011-11-23T12:44:10.668-05:00Manmie...<div style="text-align: center;">
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<i>Hi mom,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>I want to tell you
that that I really meant to call you yesterday… and the day before that. But I
got caught up and I’m sorry. I know that you will not always be around… but
please know that I care. It is a joy to be called your daughter … it is an
honour to have been birthed through you. It is an honour to have been nurtured
by your ways and fed by your hands and taught your ways. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Please know that I am
grateful. (1:02 am – 18/11/11)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><br /></i><br />
<i><object height="81" width="100%"> <param name="movie" value="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F27960910">
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<embed allowscriptaccess="always" height="81" src="https://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F27960910" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="100%"></embed> </object> <span><a href="http://soundcloud.com/zionguy/downtime-robert-glasper-trio">Downtime - Robert Glasper Trio (Drum Cover)</a> by <a href="http://soundcloud.com/zionguy">ZionGuy</a></span> </i><br />
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<i>Sometimes I get busy.
Sometimes I get too busy to call you and check up and see how you’re doing …
not only as a mother of 5 beautiful children… but also as wife … as a person as
human being. Sometimes I get too busy making sure the outcome of my hustle make
your heart smile … and I forget that it is in the subtleties and small acts
that fuel fire to your fight to be here.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>Immigrant petite
Haitian woman.. Strong, random quiet /loud when needed but warm when my spirit
needs it the most. You left your home to be here in the cold for a better future for your children. Know that I remember your ways, habits annoying or not. lol.. know that I miss them all. know that I memorize the creases and folds of your face when your frowned in dismay or disaproval of some of my actions, words or attitudes. ...know and trust that God is shapping me into ways I'm sure will please your heart.</i></div>
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<i>(1:24 AM – 18/11/11)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>I'm not sure where you find the strength to be as great as you are. I gage that it is super-human... maybe something borrowed along the lines of your own mother and father and those before them. I gage that this strength ... and has been passed on to you like it has now passed on to me.</i></div>
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<i>I'm learning to be strong like you mom... (I'm trying)...</i></div>
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<i>Mom I want to tell you that yesterday I cried tears of joy at the feeling of peace I felt you had when I left you that random voicemail, asking you how you were doing. I hope you believe when I say, I'll try to do better... I will be better, and call you more. I know that it is in your nature to worry, rightfully so, but please don't let these thoughts take too much space in your mind... you deserve more than what I sometimes give you. You deserve more than this.</i></div>
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<i>I smell a promise being made in exercising who I am (and I'm still figuring out what that is)...</i></div>
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<i>(3:04 AM - 18/11/11)</i></div>
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<br /></div>Yasminehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14135366609421913328noreply@blogger.com0