Thursday, September 30, 2010

Phenomenal Woman


Instead of taking a Public Policy class this year, I decided to take my first music class in a university setting. As soon as I started my class I found out we were going to talk about the life of Billie Holiday, then I was literally on the verge of tears... (Then I realized I should've been a music major...lol.. it's too late now though :-/)



A woman whose life I stand in awe. A woman who dealt with unfathomable pain. At the age of 10 she is raped by her next door neighbor and gets blamed for it under the claim that she "seduced" her neighbour. Raised by a single mother whose livelihood was prostitution, consequently bringing Billie into that environment. She miraculously finds ways to maneuver her way through life both by her stubborn character and tenacity of her spirit. ... She was a really complex person. I dunno, on one hand, she refused to take shit from anybody. She sang behind the metronome (beat) when everyone said she was too slow, her voice was too off. She didn't take shit from Joe Glaser (picture a real-life more intense, Al Pacino) who works for a guy named Al Capone. Yet when it came to her personal life, she somehow found herself gravitating towards scumbags who introduced her to heroin, BEAT her constantly, took her money and literally left her with 700$ in her pocket on her deathbead at a hospital.



When you examine a song like "strange Fruit" and you go through Billie Holiday's life, and the controversy that surrounded her time when she sang it, you really realize how real things really were. I never realized how intense this was until the other day in my music class. If she performed the song, she would've been dropped from Colombia Records, because no label wanted to be associated with a song that was "anti-lynching" at the time. Not to mention that she could've been killed by the massive amounts of KKKs that were roaming around the country at the time. So she went behind the label's back talked to the song owners which was a record store/company called Commodore Records. ...and just recorded it.



WAW.



Billie Holiday is a phenomenal woman. She Pained out-loud the only way she knew how: through her songs, and that became the strange fruit of her artistry and you could tell from her songs. When she sang about social issue like domestic abuse, love, I don't think she did it to voice the voices of 90% of women who were being abused in american households daily at the time. She did it to express herself, to clear her head, to survive and to just ..be. I don't think she knew that it was going to awake a new demographic of quiet listeners.



“Writers are obliged, at some point, to realize that they are involved in a language that they must change,” James Baldwin


To follow Baldwin's quote, I would say anyone who can read and write need to realize how plausible.. how possible change can be. Being phenomenal doesn't mean to be perfect... but to me it's to use where you're at.. or your social position, no matter how high or how low, to do something or to say something about injustices, and society in general. ... who knows, maybe someday I'll be able to fully embody Maya Angelou's poem, and shout "phenomenal woman, that's me!".

...?
Strange Fruit.

Manifesto



Update: Manifesto epicness and question marks... I can say much about it, other than you should`ve been there to have your ears experience an eargasm... Here are a few short videos I got to capture...

Black Thought & J. Period

Black Thought from yaz mat on Vimeo.



Black Thought delivered!!

The only thing that sucked is that because Jay Electronica decided to jump in the crowd and perform exhibit C in the crowd, and decided to roam there for the rest of the show, he stole a bit of Black Thought's thunder. Plus since they were running out of time, Black Thought came on the stage litterally seconds after he was done.... and started right away, and you could tell it was rushed (both Jay Electronica's and Black Thought's)... which was really unfortunate.

So it was an blatantly awkward transition... Straight up, I felt like it's like as if Manifesto's permit for the space was going to expire in a matter of seconds.

Jay Electronica

Jay Electronica @ Manifesto from yaz mat on Vimeo.


His performance was on point!

(But..I say question marks, because of Jay Electronica's comment about the humour he found in chocking women during sex right before I took this video, took me off-guard. I personally don't care about his sexual habits, it's none of my business... whatever floats your boat ..float with it.
But c'mon ... you're in public setting, and you're hunting for a laughing reaction from the crowd after you say something like that is no laughing matter... I think it`s scary to have men think it`s funny. He may not have implied it, but when he said that, I thought... RAPE. and Rape is no laughing matter. Period)

Besides that though, the Festival was EPIC. Everyone who stepped on stage, brought it. Emphasis on: Nomadic Massive (group that fused HipHop, Ra-ra (haitian carnival music), reggae, french and english) ... Saukrates, Rich Kidd, Eternia, D-Sisive, The poppers who were part of the audience, and got their chance to shine, the kid-breakers that were so adorable, the random guy that still had his future shop uniform w/ nametag on while popping, me getting sore after 10 minutes of trying to pop (I'm out of shape! lol), me missing dance, volunteering, meeting new people) Everything was all love. The crowd was all love.

1love Manifesto!! I can't wait for next year's!!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Lots of Lovin'



This week I've been SUPER busy. Caught up in some projects, some Manifesto, some getting my Nerd on at school, Absorbing it all. I'm in love... with where God has placed me. I can't believe the amount of goodness I was able to absorb this week. Though it wasn't all entirely gravy it was good.


For ONE and basically all... MANIFESTO. I can't stress it enough. I never got a chance to check out Manifesto before, and like I said a few posts ago, I decided to volunteer this year and get involved as a way to check it all out, and meet people, give back, feel more awkward and spread some lovin'.



I got my heart broken when I found out Bilal got a severe athsma attack and cancelled. And How I missed the "Made You Look" art show yesterday, Jean Grae and other manifesto things, for a variety of reasons, :( ... Not to mention that yesterday I got virtually slapped in the face with a class that demands an 80 page (group) paper that's due in 2 months!, in a class that I don't necessarily need to graduate, but I feel like I might need when I 'get out there'.



(sigh)... What to do.


But back to happier thoughts... The discussions, the information I've been gathering all week, from a combination of my classes, my meetings, overhearing conversations, and other critical dialog regarding the Youth, regarding urban arts, post-secondary, Michaelle Jean... I saw Hope then despair. First Hope because of what came out of each thing I heard, and the very fact that it was all about having a safe space to discuss concerns about Young people, this generation, and future generations, in Canada and elsewhere, the inclusion of young people in the political arena (voting, lowering tuition, ect..) ...Then Despair, because I know this discussion needs to be done on a wider scale... I kept thinking that there's no way I would ever get an opportunity to hear conversations like these, and ideas like these if I didn't have the guts to move out of Calgary, step out of my comfort zone and volunteer and support this initiative. This conversation has to continue beyond this week... and needs to be sparked everywhere.

... I dunno...


Among many of the conversations I had this week was the topic of change and taking action. I feel like whenever I address the topic of creating change, I quickly get overwhelmed. When I say change I mean social change regardless of scale. Whether it be through the small decision of speaking out when you see injustices... or pain out-loud... express the frustrations you have with higher authority, or your own behaviour, actions... or innactions. I don't consider myself to be a pessimistic person, but when I think of the world, and think of how it is, and the change that is necessary to make it better for us all, I sigh very heavily. lol... The idea of social change is very daunting to me.



Earlier I wrote a long essay about hip hop, and how it's not enough to produce change, and every time I read it, I remember having trouble formulating my thesis, because at the time though I believed that Hip Hop had everything to create change, in an academic setting I felt awkward expressing it, because I wanted to get an A, so I tweeked it and ended it, how I ended it. ... and I got an A. ... smh. Maybe this compromise is the problem.

We're all culprits of the system through our complicity. Like our subconscious is consciously walking around proud with a black strip over our eyes roaming.. Midnight marauding like a tribe of bandits.

Hip Hop is love. It's an artform and has its politics. But most of all it has to do with lots of Lovin' (Yes, I too hear Pete Rock & CL Smooth ..lol)... and because people listen, and that it's more than just music. Legendary Bambaataa called it a movement when it was in its infancy. I find it strange to call it music sometimes, when it's a fusion of people crying, screaming for help, dying, laughing, talking, joking, celebrating, cussing, showing off, dissing and much more... But maybe it's a beauty of it all.



If love is your movement.
Stand up. Love Hard. Stand Tall. Walk tall. Pain outloud. Say Something. Stand for something. and Be about it.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Jay Electronica

So I stumbled on this video.



Jay Electronica... ...oh... my.
I heard of him before. Thought he was dope... but I have NO IDEA why I didn't look beyond that. Then realized how he was the artist behind all these gems I heard through other artists who sampled him.
...


I first fell in love with exhibit C, then the Pledge, then Exhibit A, B.

>> Exhibit A/B/C - Jay Electronica <<


>> The Pledge (eternal sunshine) - Jay Electronica <<


And now I'm squealling for Manifesto. I even got a daypass just for that week. I refuse to miss this.

AAAHHHH!! :)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Are You Single?



"Are You Single?" ... Am I asking you the question? or have I been asked the question?... the first? the ladder? both? who knows? >>let's talk about the question. One that I can sometimes read accross people's faces following lame pick-up lines... A status I find personal and perfer to keep to myself, and opt out of "flaunting it" or moreso inviting the world to pry into that part of myself ...on facebook or on this blog lol. A question I don't address often. Is it a lifestyle? lol.. *shrug* ... if so, then is there a right way to be so? or is it defined personally? ...

"Are You Single?":
A question I find personal, only when asked personally I will respond politely with an honest answer. A question when asked could bring up all the frustrations that come with being single... and being... not.. single.

...



I have no idea where I'm going with this post...




"Are you single?"
A question becomes generic when it is being asked by student loan application.



On a personal tip:
City lights have made me weary of everyone and every thing...and simultaneously caught up in my own grind...carving my own niche... and as random calls from my mother would often remind me. I'm in my "prime... and I should be scouting for a husband now!!!!! (emphasis implied)" ... lol.*sigh* ... so what to do? ... I find subtle ways to 'look' and take notes.. and/or 'I take a chance' then shake my head and eat ice cream as I take notes... and constantly still pray for patience, wisdom in the decisions I make... and ...Be. I guess. lol..
All in hopes to scout my future MVP ..most valuable person. :) lol



To Compromise or not to compromise? oftentimes becomes my dilema... but I don't settle. ...I tried. lol.. it didn't work.



"Are you Single":
I'm not about to address the "I'm independent, I don't need a man" ...thing.. that a few of us are on. ... but I will say this. ..I said it before and I will say it again. No person (man or woman or in-between) is an island... and we need people. we need each other.



"Are you Single?" --- a question that brings me a great deal of distress when it is asked sometimes lol.


Strange Fruit

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Once upon a time... transitioning.



Somewhere between paying my credit card, and gathering last minute things for my new room (sheets, curtains,carpet ect.) I fell into this state of mine. I've been taking pictures of myself, and my hair, to record this process of transitioning from relaxed hair to "natural". ...and in the process I'm learning to love myself. Some people might argue that I don't have to go "natural" to love myself... And I agree!.. but that's the way that suits me, therefore that's the route I chose. ...I chose it because to love myself in my "natural" state... is to love myself in my "simplest" ...minus the materialism I choose to clothe my body with.



To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm quite there, but I'm trying. I'm trying to love the fact that God gave me stubborn hair. God gave me THICK hair... Long legs. Teeth. brown eyes.. and a working heart. ...ALL of which I am VERY thankful for. ... I'm trying really hard, but believe me it's NOT easy. ...and the very fact that it's not easy is what's making me as furious as my hair, and more determined to make it to the end.



...I'm finding out a lot of awkward things about myself, both physically and in my personality, and I'm in the process of loving each and every single one...

...


Transitioning
... A process that I'm finding to be very much humbling. Almost like I'm being broken... and somewhat being child-like. To simply accept things as true without questioning them. Simple... statements like "I am not my hair" ... I am not my hair. I am not my hair. .... I am not my clothes. ... I simply am. I AM. ... in the words of the great Saul Williams I am a spirit encased in flesh and the frame God chose to embellish my soul is my body. ... and as time is going by each day, I'm learning to love it. I'm mad at the fact that it's a process because I've inherited a legacy of Neo-Colonialism/ Hyper-Consumerism/ Fast-Generation/Capitalism... This slaveship is a mental one. ... it's a problem. And I guess I'm addressing it.


...maybe that's what they meant when they said that "it's all mental".

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH....

On another tip. School starts tomorrow. Running my last lap for my undergrad... and God-willing finishing it up STRONG. ...Less Blogging (probably)... Less Facebook. More face time with my books. More library sleepovers. More knowledge. More anxiety. More debt (*sarcastic yaaay*)... Class of 2011. LET's GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!



Oh on another other tip. Tomorrow: Manifesto: ArtReach Youth Arts Pitch Contest + Live Artist Showcase. ArtReach Toronto, in partnership with Manifesto, City of Toronto Cultural Services and Toronto Community Housing presents the annual Pitch Contest. 9 lucky sbumissions will be chosen to pitch their ideas live. (apparently Michaelle Jean will be there!!.. one of her last appearances as GG.) ...It's an invite only event. ...feels pretty exclusive. Should be awesome :) ...Before you start thinking I'm awesome for being exclusive.. I didn't get invited either. lol.. But I do think I'm sorta-kinda awesome cuz I'm volunteering at it.... BOOOOOH-YAAAA!!




P.S. >>> I'm listening to J.Period & Spike Lee's & Micheal Jackson: "Man or the Music (40 Acres edition)" Mixtape right now, and so should you!! .... Click and Download. ...
...Yes. You're welcome :)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

What is greater than the sun



Yesterday woke up to the sounds of 2 beautiful tracks. The first is Ron Isley feat. Lauryn Hill - Close to you.

Ron Isley "Close To You" (Ft. Lauryn Hill) by clutchmag

... The Second is John Legend & The Roots - Shine.
... (I could only find this live performance on youtube).

It's Getting Colder, Fall came witout giving me any kind of notice. It went straight to eviction. :( ... After grooving off that vibe... and listening to Zo! and Phonte's: "Greater than the Sun"...



I decided to post a scribble I scribbled not too long ago, about my love for the sun. lol.


What is Greater than the sun?
What is greater than the silent laughter of each beaming sunray on our backs
Almost as if to make a mockery of the struggle we make for ourselves

What is Greater than the smile of morning dew
and the chants of the wind as it dances with each leaf
so carefully so

nothing shines brighter than that

What shines brighter than this meticulous orchestra?
What is greater than the sun?
What is greater than leading the world's orchestra?
To let each part living to play their part

I am greatful for the sun,
I am greatful to bask in daw's beaming morning rays
Alsmost as if God understood the real meaning behind our dreams
...and rather than to awake us abruptly from our slumber chooses to embrace it.
Rephrase it and bring meaning to our days

I am greatful for the sun.


Followers