Once upon a time... transitioning (pt.3)

" I want to bask in a legacy so bright, that it'll make slavery seem insignificant. And together we use our truth to pay tribute to his and herstories and give credit where it is due. Tribute to the women whose skintones range from mahogany to onyx whose hair coils stretch for days like legs of models on runways. "

- LeBeatLaCréole (May2nd2011, 3:09pm)

Before:

- "I don't get it? ... why are you doing this"
- "But you look sooo much better with straight hair"
- "You know you're going to get a relaxer soon"
- " As long as your hair is like corinne bailey rae then it's ok... if it looks niggerish then don't do it"
- "gadé éta cheve pitit la... poukisa ou pa mété pèmanant nan cheve'w??" (look at the state of your hair...I don't get it... why don't you put a relaxer in your hair?)

After:

- "OMG I love love love your hair" x 100
- "*gasp*" x4

Last time I checked I am not my hair... I never was, and refuse to have my identity reduced to my hair or my face or my body. But it's strange how people react to it...it's strange how I used to react to it... It's strange how it changes you... it makes you understand the world and yourself more and more. lol.

Chevys & Space Ships by Stalley330
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I remember my mother sitting me between her legs and slaving away at my hair as kid. lol... I remember vividly one day when she broke all 3 combs that she had trying to comb my hair and getting frustrated... I was 9. lol. ...this whole transitioning thing is interesting to say the least.

Yesterday my brother said he liked my hair... and that it suit me. That is the first and only good thing he's ever said to me about my hair since I decided to transition a little over a year ago. Though I've been harlem-spazzing in my head about this... the reality of the matter still bothers me. I keep thinking about: "what if I listened to what people were saying about my hair?" ... "what if I didn't listen to my gut feeling?"... "what if I didn't do what felt right to me?" ...I would've been the biggest fool in the world. I was conscious about the fact that I was going to be alone in my process... and in terms of my family I would be alone in the idea. I would be the only person doing it. (thankfully my twin decided to join in a couple months into it) ... Eventually my mom stop hating.. eventually one of cousins started to do it... eventually.

It's funny because, going into this I never expected my style to transition and my mindset to transition as my hair was. I'm sure not everyone comes out of 'transitioning' alive and 'self-aware' ... but I personally can testify that my coils have brought me these superpowers. lol... I can't explain it, but it does something to your being when you publicly acknowledge the fact that you don't look like people on the magazines. It's funny what transitioning does to your mentality... maybe it's because it's close to your head for that very reason.

It's strange how transitioning changes how you wear yourself.

(^ some of my late night sketches lol)

Strange (midnight) Fruits