music makes the world go round.

There is something about music that is healing to me. It brings something to me.. a  random dance move, a memory, kind words, angry words... words unspoken but felt, thought of and never uttered by me. ... it brings me a certain peace of mind. It keeps me a little sane. For that I am forever thankful. In the buldge of chaos I've been navigating in this transitional period in my life, a friend of mine posted a simple podcast that (after a semi-emotional day) brought me this peace.

... I slept at 1 am and woke up at 4, tossing & turning from toothache (an infection I feel I may have) and traces and bits of heartache. I still think of him. I still miss him. .... thinking about me needing surgery for my mouth soon... not sure how I'm going to afford it. Trusting that God will come through (lol). 

It feels odd to be up at this time, where most people are asleep. ..Some awake and alive in another timezone.. others are grinding heavy at work or are getting ready to do so.

I am not dealing with this in a healthy way. I want to really bad, but it doesn't seem to be working. First it's my appetite, Now my sleep. ... This is not good for my spirit. I do not and refuse to resort to sleeping drugs. I'm trying tea. ... worse comes to worse I might try nyquil or benadryl (for my allergies). Pretty sure that half of my bottom left jaw is swollen right now. ... uugh.

ok. after I finish playing this mixtape, I'm sleeping... (I hope).

okbye.