Saturday, July 31, 2010
Summer in the City. Summer 2010 is my first summer in this city I call Toronto. And I'm learning to love it, despite its uglies. ...but I guess you could say that, that the ugly is always part of the package.
Interesting and Beautiful short film.
Random but, Who goes to the Art Gallery of Ontario, and walks around town and checks out music festivals instead of spending $100 plus over Caribana long weekend? I do. lol...
... yeah... aaaaaaand what boooiiiii?!
...not gonna lie though, I kinda wanted to see what the hype was about, then as I walked around the city on the day of the parade, I saw more than my share of booty-hanging-carnival-hyped people. ...I saw the boldness and madness of more than few ... neon purple lacefront weave. shorts that are no longer shorts but underwear... (Not gonna lie though, a few GOOD looking men)
My answer to alot of people who look at me funny for not really wanting to check it out: " I dunno (shrug)...it's not really my "scene" ..*akward laughter*.. *changes topic asap*"... I like Soca & Reggae. but only in moderation. lol. I like to dance to soca and reggae... (hell, I think I'm even pretty good at it lol)... just don't want to pay more than 10$ to do that, while being grabbed and tossed around by aggressive strangers who want to get sum by the end of the night, that's all.
so call me crazy, lol... but it doesn't sound that hype in my books. PLUS, does it LOOK like I have money to throw away like that.
...maybe I'll change my mind next year, who knows.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Last few days have been all over the place.
But today. was the day.
"Every day is like a blank canvas
Carving my initials in the planet like I brand it
Hand picked to live this life we take for granted
Like a child with an upright bass, we can’t stand it
Smiling through the trouble we face, tryna manage
My way without pumping my brakes and staying stagnant
Cause I can sit on my ass or just imagine
The madness I did on my path and paint the canvas"
>> Blu - The Roots - The Day - How I got Over <<
Funny enough I remember singing: "today's gonna be the day, gonna be the day", a few days before this. The "this" that I'm referring to is to bear my soul to a group of strangers. To allow life and breath to penetrate the words that I've always kept to myself, to my notebook, to God, and to a rare selected few. To not just write what's in my heart and to swallow the drips of what God's creative juices have put on my soul to just write. ...today I did it. I went beyond the pages. and spoke these words. Spoke them with as much honesty and conviction that was in my heart.
Today I faced one of my fears. I let a group of strangers into a little bit of my convoluted brain. Today I became the shinning. and they actually liked it.
and best of all... I'm ok!! lol
I didn't die, or vomit, fumble, or cry, or shake too too much.
and I did it.
I can't believe how awesome everyone was. I can't believe the awesomeness of the band, and the feel of the music and the gravy they made. I can't believe the love and their beautiful faces!!...I can't believe I even went as far as to asking them to play a mellow background beat while I spoke my peace. ...but I remember enjoying the combination as I went along and just.... vibed out to it.
[woke up to my friend comparing my performance kinda like a floetry piece]
( .... I smiled. and shook my head. lol.. some people are just too nice.)
they said that my piece was beautiful, they gave me another round of applause, and I smiled as hard as I possibly could, and showed them how blessed they've made me feel for simply appreciating and welcoming what I had spoken. ... what had simply started off as just words.
I went in with the one friend who was pushing me to just go for it... and that's it. I did not know or even recognize a single person in that room. I did this one for me, with the intent to challenge myself, and with the attempt to let the world into my thoughts. To maybe inspire someone random in the crowd.
I remember praying hard before going to bed, and being inspired from the conversation, and my reading. I remember the kind words of my friends, the smile I could feel they all had on their faces when I told them I decided to actually step and do it. I remember feeling blessed.
I remember all these things... and I hope I won't forget.
I've been smiling all day. ... walking down the street alone, and just smiling to myself, and then catching myself, and then stopping lol.
I think in my brain's periphery, it's the beginning of something epic. Not to say that I'm going to be doing this more and more... (but I know now that it's A LOT MORE PROBABLE now though) but like I've been saying 2010 is greateness in the making. I think my brain was on this goal, since I found this necklace when I was at Topshop in NY (a month ago). It was a silver, zipper necklace that strategically stopped half way through zipping, and coincidently looked like the letter "Y". Somehow, I found it. I remember being really drawn to it. I ended up buying it. And at that moment making the conscious decision to stop holding everything back. To stop stalling, on greatness...lol.
God's made me with too much love for me to just keep it to my notebook...
In simple words. This moment in time, has reminded me that " this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine"
...let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.
Monday, July 19, 2010
(feeling weak in the knees)
This video reminds me of when I really fell in love with Hip Hop. I met him when I was a little girl, he gave me poetry and he was my first But in my heart I knew I wasn't the only one 'Cause when the tables turned he had to break up. (yes this is line from Erykah Badu's Love of my life... but I found it so fitting lol)...
But for real though, I remember how old I was when I discovered hip hop, I can tell you my complicated relationship with it from Day 1 since I came into this country (*insert FOB accent*) lol... till today. I would really write it, but I think it goes down better in a conversation and a chillin' background vibe and food, rather then in these blank lines on the keyboard of my laptop.
But just to give a washed down version of how I discovered everything I love about Hip Hop, was by digging beyond what was presented to me. Scratching the surface, if you will. ( get it? scratching like wikki wikki *dj sound*... but also, uncovering it... discovering it! lol) ... Anyway my scratching led to discovery of both the history behind how Hip Hop came to be, a discovery of the different elements, getting involved in ALOT of the different elements (including dancing/ graffiti writting), the hip hop sneaker/fresh swag that comes with it lol), just not MCing or DJing lol. I think what drew me to Hip Hop and KEPT me there, was the people aspect of it. The voicing of the voiceless. ...The political aspect of it I guess. The ability to make beauty and art out of that expression. ...The limitless possibilities it contained. .....(insert Common's "The People" from Finding Forever lol) .
... ummm yeah. From that standpoint I could relate. Bridging the story of how hip hop came to be, and how I came to be. ...where I'm going. What's going on around me. No other genre of music could do ALL THAT for me.
So I guess with time... it just kinda grew, and just stuck. ... not sure if I'll ever grow out of it when I get older. Not sure if I can. lol
(hmmm :D ... he could do without the head-wrap though... not discrediting the fact that he's rocking the hell out of it lol)
Oh yeah... new Chiddy Bang :)
Chiddy Bang "Dream Chasin"
Chiddy Bang | MySpace Music Videos
Sunday, July 18, 2010
I would wear these.
(Nikki Minaj annoys me)
I feel like French speaking Caribbean people are very underestimated, or at least I feel like there's this gap between the English and French speaking part of the Caribbean. Like I feel like they don't count us as part of the Caribbean. (A few people have told me that). ....... makes NO sense to me.
... random, but I feel something epic is going to happen. 2010 is still gonna be awesome, despite everything that's happened (good & bad). Half the year has gone by already... and I was re-visiting my New Year Resolutions, that I accidently ended up writing down in my sketchbook, and so far I've accomplished some of the tasks. (sidebar: I even wrote down Lauryn Hill for the hell of it,.... and I'm hoping I can catch her at rock the bells in NY before back to school happens!...and I didn't even know about rock the bells until a few months ago!! :D)
... Always trips me out, on how I actually got to meet Q-tip himself (the fact that all I could mutter was "Hi, you're amazing! Can me and my friend have a picture" is besides the point lol)... LIVE in the flesh, and got a pic too!... ATCQ always and forever in my heart.
I do faces like these in the washroom, and in my room during the day and during the night because I can. lol.... (and I know YOU do too, so don't look at me like that lol)
I've had this track on my ipod since february/march ish... deleted it the other day cuz I overplayed it lol. The beat is rrridicule!!
“Who says Black is not irrevocably beautiful. As is every other color on the planet. The shame is in any one being ostracized or diminished. Any one of God’s uttered iterations deafened is a muting of the entire palette…” - Anonymous
Friday, July 16, 2010
hhmmmm... it's been longer than usual.
Alot of things went down lol... minus the Dire LACK of shifts at one of my jobs, I've been working really hard at my other one, and it's paying off (unfortunately not literally this time..lol... just figuratively). :) ...
Random but just found this video and I like it..
Lately I've been wasting a lot of my time doing pointless things. For instance yesterday, after running around and doing some errands, I ended up watching this movie called: "When in Rome" .... BIGGEST MISTAKE of the summer by far. DUMMEST movie in the world. Not sure why I thought it was going to be any different lol...
Today, I went Grocery Shopping for the first time officially since April!! :D ... and I ate well. Got home, and I was annoyed at being in front of my laptop, so I sketched like 4 pages worth of madness (just started to use charcoal, and today I decided to add nailpolish to it), ... lately for some reason I've been sketching more faces. Not sure where it came from.
The following are things I need to get off my chest:
1. Why is it that the majority of countries that promised to give millions and or billions of dollars to help rebuild Haiti, have yet to give a single dime.
2. Why is the world sleeping
3. Huricane Season is right around the corner... The tents are looking more permanent
4. There are still more than 1.5 Million people homeless... in the capital (Port-au-Prince). ...the CAPITAL people!!.. the lifeline of the country.
5. Why are some of my roomates eating my groceries without asking.
6. Why is Art so damn expensive, ... I know sometimes the pieces can be breathtaking but dammmn
7. Why the hell am I so damn shy... I swear, I probably missed out on so many awesome opportunities to be awesome lol... aaahh!!
8. Why can't I bake a cake?? lol... just tried a few hours ago with a friend. and it was a FAIL... lmao. to the point where I was forcing myself to eat it, because I baked it, and paid for the damn package.. (sigh). LOL.
9. Why... oh WHY did I miss the Brooklyn Hip Hop Festival. ... WHYYY lol
10. Why is the world so Cruel?
11. Why do you bother reading this? lol ... maybe cuz you can relate? ... a little? ... maybe? ... naww?... just me?
.............. I kinda know the answer to most of the questions I'm asking... and the answers are as complicated as they are simple.
"I am blessed I am fortune’s daughter I find favour every time that I awake to a new day to praise this neck that has never known the weight of a noose instead it carries the weight of a head heavy with knowledge of itself... I am blessed" - Titilope Sonuga
Monday, July 12, 2010
"IT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE THAT MAKES THE WORLD RESPECT YOU, BUT WHAT POWER IT IS THAT STANDS BEHIND YOU" Ben Okri goes on to say that “it is not you the world sees but that power”- (Stolen from popafricana blog)
"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."- Jim Morisson
I think the people I've admired the most were people who were not afraid to " pain out loud"... They were not afraid to be (or at least they didn't show that they were afraid), To admit their insecurities and what they think are flaws, and fears.
Oh yeah did I mention, I really want to travel!! lol
Just Downloaded his Album: Lazarus ... I TOTALLY would support. Cuz I <3 him. But I have no money, I blame Capitalism and unaffordable post-secondary education. :( ... but as soon as I get a chance I will purchase it.
(Oh yeah, I wiki-ed him and found out he's half Haitian & Half Irish ... :D ...)
I should really be doing work right now. I have a report due soon. But thought I'd share some pics that made me smile. Oh yeah, I had an awesome weekend.