Saturday, June 5, 2010

To Inspire... or to Be inspired

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.

It's graduation time. Not my graduation time but my friends. Yesterday I started to set up my schedule for my last year for my undergrad. Lately I've had a pressing thought or worry. Everyone is saying that I need to go for a masters, because political science alone won't get me anything solid. But I'm in soooooooooooooo much debt. My entire post-secondary education (for the 4, going on 5 years it's lasted) has been 100% reliant on my student loan. I've been fortunate enough to get a few bursaries and scholarships here and there... but nothing too significant. I'm investing 40 000$ on a receipt that may not be as valuable when I do enter the labour market.
...To me it doesn't make any sense to go for a masters right away for 2 reasons:
1. I don't have any practical experience in the field
2. I'm adding more on my loan. (plus amounting interest)
...(I digress)

Who's to say I'll be happy when I'm done it all. There are so many things I want to do, and I refuse to settle for a job that will make me unhappy but will pay the bills. But at the same time, bills need to get paid. I don't want to fail. No one wants to fail. But ... I'm pretty sure that's what's gonna happen lol.

Plus, I've been questioning why I always seem to be drawn towards certain kinds of music, or art, or dance... and I'm pretty sure I'm always going to be in love with all of that. Because it's my creative outlet. Do I incorporate that into my future plans? Can I?
I don't know.

As much as I sometimes tend to romanticize the learning that comes with failures. It doesn't mean I want them to happen... it's just that if they do, I need to learn how to deal with them. and truthfully I'm not sure if I can.

failure stripping away of the inessential, stop pretending to myself I was anything other than what I was.

... But I think at the end of the day, at least it'll help me narrow down everything. Strip away everything that's unnecessary. Using rockbottom as a foundation.
The only thing I know for sure... is that I want to be happy. I want to be happy with myself, with God. ... and I want to inspire people. There's nothing that brings me more joy than to make someone's day. lol... it sounds really lame. But if I know that I've blessed you, helped you in any way shape or form, I guarantee you I will be smiling like a 5 year old for at least a solid 10 minutes lol.
if I can do that .... then I = :)

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