I've been replaying this song over and over again for the past couple of hours. I really want to find a link to download it into my ipod. ... Strange how I looked over the original when I got my hands on nostaligia Ultra... but this cover does something to me. ...I'm not sure why though. It's the same song. Same lyrics... but it does.
For the past little bit I've been extremely caught up with the busyness of my internship, finding a job, then working, then working to find a place to live in toronto as well as abroad, finding the time to catch up with a few friends. ...I haven't had time to sit down and think.. and pause and ask myself how I'm doing. ...I haven't had a chance to write and let my thoughts make sense to me. I haven't had time to uncoil these wires of ideas I have in there... I've been feeling slightly off. ... I keep telling myself that this is just a phase, that I'll get back into the swing of things but honestly I haven't. ... I realized that I've been confusing my 15 open tabs, bbms, skypes and incessant emails and sleeping at 4 am for being productive. Business does not necessarily equal productivity. (note-to-self).."imma try to swim from somethingbigger than mekick off my shoesand swim good"
I'm trying to swim good. Because I know I hail from a story bigger than me. Anyone who knows my story and knows me personally knows of the things that have been going on, and the opportunities that I've recently gotten..
I'm in denial of myself. for some reason I'm having difficulty accepting where I'm at. or at least accepting the fact that my hard-work had something to do with it. ... is it strange that I feel a little uneasy even saying that it was hard-work even know that I know I worked hard to get here. ...? ... I'm trying to make sense of it.
I dunno...... this all has to all mean something right? I believe in purpose ... I believe in my purpose even if I don't know what it is yet. ... maybe for the time being that's good enough.