Saturday, May 29, 2010

Something like an Old Soul


I think I'm an Old Soul. Is it weird that one of my favorite things is to listen to jazz, sip tea and have a good conversation with friends about their lives, hopes and aspirations. I'm saying that like it happens often (pffffttt!!!... yeah.smh. naawww lol).. but I know that the jazz and tea part happens sometimes, ...oftentimes alone in my room lol.
The conversations happen in part and they're often shorter, less frequent, and w/ fewer faces than I would like. But they happen... sometimes. (so I'm glad). I feel like my soul was born in the early 80s ... because most of the time I find myself relating to people older than me, when it comes to life perspectives.I wonder if life would be easier? would it be better? Would I be happier? Would I be a better person?

Sometimes I wish it were different... But A lot of the times I'm glad that it's not.

This weekend I learned the importance of challenging myself. I may feel old at times, but I'm an amateur in life/relationships/other struggles. I've come to find peace in having faith that life is moving at the pace they are for a Good reason.
...
lol.
you know, they never lied when they say Patience is a virtue. [truly sorry for the cliché]...
I was listening to Shad's TSOL the other day and ran into the line:
"A sage once said that Silence is the sound of Patience. Listen"


So I'm learning to enjoy the silence.
... to be In - Joy with this silence.
The silence that I often find so... STILL... that it's Deafening...
And somehow despite it being mute, it speaks volumes.
Speaks volumes because it somehow finds a way to perforate my state of being(my mind, my thoughts, my actions)
Allows me to question myself... allows me to answer... me.

...

I spent Friday night alone (like most nights). I didn't feel lonely.
But I used the silence or lack of company to answer what I question about myself.
and I learned that in simple terms:

I'm just a work in progress... lol.

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