Somewhere between paying my credit card, and gathering last minute things for my new room (sheets, curtains,carpet ect.) I fell into this state of mine. I've been taking pictures of myself, and my hair, to record this process of transitioning from relaxed hair to "natural". ...and in the process I'm learning to love myself. Some people might argue that I don't have to go "natural" to love myself... And I agree!.. but that's the way that suits me, therefore that's the route I chose. ...I chose it because to love myself in my "natural" state... is to love myself in my "simplest" ...minus the materialism I choose to clothe my body with.
To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm quite there, but I'm trying. I'm trying to love the fact that God gave me stubborn hair. God gave me THICK hair... Long legs. Teeth. brown eyes.. and a working heart. ...ALL of which I am VERY thankful for. ... I'm trying really hard, but believe me it's NOT easy. ...and the very fact that it's not easy is what's making me as furious as my hair, and more determined to make it to the end.
...I'm finding out a lot of awkward things about myself, both physically and in my personality, and I'm in the process of loving each and every single one...
...
Transitioning
... A process that I'm finding to be very much humbling. Almost like I'm being broken... and somewhat being child-like. To simply accept things as true without questioning them. Simple... statements like "I am not my hair" ... I am not my hair. I am not my hair. .... I am not my clothes. ... I simply am. I AM. ... in the words of the great Saul Williams I am a spirit encased in flesh and the frame God chose to embellish my soul is my body. ... and as time is going by each day, I'm learning to love it. I'm mad at the fact that it's a process because I've inherited a legacy of Neo-Colonialism/ Hyper-Consumerism/ Fast-Generation/Capitalism... This slaveship is a mental one. ... it's a problem. And I guess I'm addressing it.
...maybe that's what they meant when they said that "it's all mental".
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH....
On another tip. School starts tomorrow. Running my last lap for my undergrad... and God-willing finishing it up STRONG. ...Less Blogging (probably)... Less Facebook. More face time with my books. More library sleepovers. More knowledge. More anxiety. More debt (*sarcastic yaaay*)... Class of 2011. LET's GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh on another other tip. Tomorrow: Manifesto: ArtReach Youth Arts Pitch Contest + Live Artist Showcase. ArtReach Toronto, in partnership with Manifesto, City of Toronto Cultural Services and Toronto Community Housing presents the annual Pitch Contest. 9 lucky sbumissions will be chosen to pitch their ideas live. (apparently Michaelle Jean will be there!!.. one of her last appearances as GG.) ...It's an invite only event. ...feels pretty exclusive. Should be awesome :) ...Before you start thinking I'm awesome for being exclusive.. I didn't get invited either. lol.. But I do think I'm sorta-kinda awesome cuz I'm volunteering at it.... BOOOOOH-YAAAA!!
P.S. >>> I'm listening to J.Period & Spike Lee's & Micheal Jackson: "Man or the Music (40 Acres edition)" Mixtape right now, and so should you!! .... Click and Download. ...
...Yes. You're welcome :)
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