Friday, January 7, 2011

weird start of the year

So the first few days since new years have been a bit strange. I pulled an all-nighter on the first day back to school. smh. Everything's been a little weird. I started off on this optimistic high about everything, then I got a little down, and down until I started to fall into this self-perpetuating "I'm lost, what am I doing with my life after this, what's next? I'm broke, I'm in debt, I'm so foolish, my work isn't enough, I could've done better," mentally rant/ quiet inner-struggle thing. I'm trying to figure everything out, and desperately looking for ways to do whatever I want to do in the safest (financial) way possible but at the same time I recognize the value of disregarding that and doing "what your heart is telling you, you should" ... *rolls eyes*.

Sometimes I stop and think about it, and I think being a "dreamer" and "following your heart" thing is BS lol. ...straight up.

The Strange Fruit Project/ Maintain (Liquid Soul Remix) by Lunansia

Strangely enough I've managed to be on top of a lot of other things like fixing my resume and starting to send it places ect.. so maybe all of this chaos is just in my head.

I've also noticed that a few of the files I have on here keep disappearing (songs/videos), so I'm working on ways to fix that issue, if it can be fixed at all. But bref... *shrug*

04. You Got Me - Joonie by darehab

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